Control

Control.
I want it.

Yet, control belongs to God.

Daily, I see how incredibly arduous it is (was, has been, always will be) for me to surrender -- yield and renounce -- any and all control to God. My word for 2014, SURRENDER, constantly wages war with every fiber of my being. In fact, it reveals an inner struggle that has heretofore lain dormant my entire life -- all I feel that I want is . . . control.

Control.
How my being longs for it!

Left to itself, my heart wants to be in charge of the nature and timing of my every circumstance. It demands that every situation facing me be predictable, tidy, non-intrusive, quantifiable, and neatly packed. It begs to suffer only a one-touch, one-time encounter with any nuisance, annoyance, encumbrance, etc.

This is not to be.
God has a different perspective.
The Father has more beautiful mercies for me.

The call to surrender points me to a Monarch who loves me and who is in control of my circumstances -- every single one of them.

The psalmist says it this way,
"O Lord, you have searched me and known me! You know when I sit down and when I rise up; you discern my thoughts from afar. You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways. Even before a word is on my tongue, behold, O Lord, you know it altogether. You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me" (Psalm 139:1-5, ESV).

Sufficiently aware of and above every item in my life, only He can fight and conquer the daily struggles I face. My winning the race of life is guaranteed only when I run in Christ's footsteps -- choosing to die to my selfishness and allowing His righteousness to live in me.

But, what a choice!
Even that is impossible for me without God's benevolent grace. I now choose Him because Christ has already made a bold, degrading, and sacrificial choice to die on my behalf, to suffer in my stead, and to yield to the Father -- just so that I might learn to surrender in His glorious surrendering.

So, I'll say yes today.
Yes to everything I am expected to render.

"Render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's, 

and to God the things that are God's."

Matthew 22:21, ESV

I do not have a pass.
I am not an exception.
I am to give Christ my whole heart.
I am called to give and love and sacrifice like everyone else.
I am to tackle every task, opportunity, interaction, and relationship as though I was doing it to the Master Himself. 

Do in me, O Lord, that which only You can do so that You can do through me all that Your heart desires.