Waiting is not remaining idle and fiddling one's thumb; rather, it is learning and gaining wisdom with a hopeful/grateful attitude despite harsh circumstances.
So, I have been waiting . . .
. . . just like the followers of Jesus spent fifty (50) days waiting for the Holy Spirit to come after Christ's tomb had been found empty -- surely, they gained much wisdom.
To commemorate the 50 days of waiting between Christ's resurrection and the day of Pentecost, I feel led by the Spirit to meditate on Psalm 51 and gain the wisdom Christ has in store for me and His bride. The past seven (7) days have kept me in the psalm heading, reading, "For the director of music. A Psalm of David. When the prophet Nathan came to him after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba." Today, I have come to the last fragment of the heading of Psalm 51 -- " . . . after David had committed adultery with Bathsheba."
“After David had committed adultery with Bathsheba” indicates to me that David's sin was known. I investigated the story behind Psalm 51 and found that, though David’s adultery with Bathsheba was premeditated, it was done with the full knowledge of several messengers, servants, and officials in the kingdom (2 Samuel 11-12). Those partners in crime surely worked hard to keep David’s dealings with Bathsheba and Uriah undercover. Still, his accomplices could not prevent the Lord from revealing such heinous crimes to Nathan although David had thought his secret was safe.
Today, I believe God is still in the business of uncovering the sins we bury deep down in our hearts. He also reveals hidden truths to all who are willing to listen. At times, we may think our secret is safe until a spouse, a close relative, or a friend confronts us. Other times, we find ourselves not at all surprised when a believer chooses to confess a particular sin. I believe it is because the Lord has graciously placed in His people a sensitive spirit that understands and perceives things that are hidden.
What truly blessed me is the fact that, when confronted, David did not choose denial. He quickly admitted his error, confessed the holiness of God, and repented of his sin. Thus, he showed that he believed in God and revered God’s holiness. That is the really beautiful part.
May brokenness and confession be the grateful response we offer to the Father when He graciously reveals hidden and besetting sins in our hearts!
True belief and true repentance can only occur when we are willing to ask ourselves some hard and probing questions:
What is my sin?
Is it bitterness, hatred, cheating, lying, resentment, impatience, immorality, lewdness, discord, entitlement, self-gratification, ingratitude, self-righteousness? One could never be exhaustive because the sins of mankind are too numerous. In fact, the Word claims that, given over to sin, mankind invents new ways every day to commit sin. And sin leads to death. Yet, there is grace. Grace invites us to name the sins that plague our hearts and renounce them, freeing each broken heart from the dungeon forcing it to hang onto the very blemishes that Christ died to eradicate from humanity. Oh, thank You, Lord!
Who or what is my Bathsheba?
Like in the case of King David's fall, our “Bathsheba” represents the temptations or enticements to which we are prone to succumb. At times, temptations come in the form of a person or several people while at other times enticements can take the form of money, substance, reputation, human praise, etc. The “Bathshebas” of our lives are weeds and thistles against which we must diligently guard our hearts. Grace warns us against letting them go to seed in order to hinder such weeds from taking us down the path of self-destruction.
It is not enough to identify with the sinner, David; nor is it enough to recognize the "Bathshebas" of our lives. Grace beckons us to ponder and ask yet another question:
Who or what is the Uriah in my life?
Each time we give in to any sin, there is a Uriah –- an innocent or sacrificial lamb –- who pays the price. At times, it is a spouse, a close relative, or an intimate friend who bears the brunt of our selfishness and carries the shame of our self-indulgence. Other times, our “Uriah” may be the nuclear family or the ministry or the relationships that God has entrusted into our hands. Most of all, our ultimate “Uriah” is God Himself. Each time we sin, His holy name is reviled. Each time we indulge our wickedness, the Holy Spirit is grieved. Each time we rebel against the Father, Christ is once again crushed and crucified. Is the nectar of sin worth the perennial or perpetual death of our “Uriah”?
Am I concealing my sin or am I confessing it?
An honest look at ourselves will tell us whether or not we are quick and willing to confess our sin. For the most part, confessing sins is utterly scary. We fear that people may no longer like us or worship the ground upon which we walk. The truth is: It is not a bad thing if upon confessing we lose the reverence of others because fear and reverence must be directed to God alone. In fact, admitting the error of our ways is a ticket to God’s mercy because it is a confession of the holiness and Lordship of Christ. That thought is in line with Proverbs 28:13 which teaches,
"Those who conceal their sins do
not prosper,
but those who confess and renounce them find mercy."
So, grace enlightens our eyes to see that, without confession, our hearts fail to receive the cleansing God freely offers.
We often suffer from spiritual amnesia and forget the power of grace over sin. So, we wonder,
Should I really confess my sin? What if I get caught in the act?
That dilemma leads us to hold onto sin (hiding or concealing it from the light) even longer -- a sorry practice that contributes to the persistent uncleanness of our hearts. If we get in the habit of sweeping sin under the rug, we will always be hindered from sharing our testimony and the Word of God will continue to be maligned in this world that is so antagonistic to Christ. If we continue on such a path, sin will destroy the moral fabric of our lives, leaving scars even after forgiveness -- scars such as no true repentance, no “before and after” story in our Christian walk, nothing that sets us apart from the world and therefore, no sustainable renewal or restoration for us. However, with grace, we are emboldened to "boast all the more gladly about our weaknesses" and invite Christ's power to rest on us.
Thank You, Holy Spirit for imparting Your wisdom. May our hearts receive Your holy instruction fully! In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen!
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