This morning, I faced one of my demons -- the tyranny of the urgent and my obsession with conquering it with perfectionism clinging to my heel.
There was so much to do, so many tasks to tackle that I barely found enough time to sit down and reflect on God's Word. At the same time, I know my tendency when I make a commitment -- I want to make it happen in my own strength, in my own power.
And so, it was not surprising that I sought to write down a meditation on where I was in Psalm 51 in order to have a check mark next to said item on my "to-do" list.
And I did.
And I felt accomplished.
And then, bang!
The Holy Spirit came.
He graciously knocked on the door of my heart . . . and gently whispered:
My dear son, why are you challenging and defying the One you call your Lord and King? Did you not say you were commemorating the 50 days of waiting between Easter and Pentecost? Could you not wait for me to speak to you, to instruct you in the way you should go? Are you presuming to know what I want you to share without waiting for My power, My influence, My wisdom? Wait. Wait, dear one. Wait! I am speaking to you but you cannot hear Me until you wait long enough for your ears to be ready to listen.
Whoa!
I surrender, Holy Spirit of God!
Time to get back on my knees and wait . . .
As I waited and read and re-read, I began to hear and see and heed. I could see that Psalm 51 is a precious conversation, an intimate dialogue between David and God. Just like the Holy Spirit spoke to me a bit ago, God addressed David through the prophet Nathan and now he is ready to utter his response to God.
His response in verse 1 reads, "Have mercy on me, O God, according to Your unfailing love, according to Your great compassion, blot out my transgressions."
The above prayer displays David's nature and need:
- he was a sinner in need of favor yet completely unworthy of mercy
- he should have been executed for murder and adultery (as per the law)
- he was made aware of his moral bankruptcy and total need of grace
David's prayer in verse 1 also highlights a fraction of God's nature:
- He is merciful
- He is full of love
- He is compassionate
- He is mighty to save
- He is worthy to erase blunders
- He is qualified to wipe away sin
- He is fit to blot out transgressions
- He is incredibly, immeasurably gracious
David's nature makes me realize how I need to examine my own heart.
Am I in need of God's mercy today?
Am I longing after the fullness of God's love?
Am I hungrily salivating after God's compassion?
Am I relying on God's mighty and outstretched arm to save me?
Am I aware of God's worthiness to erase the blunders I have committed?
Am I accepting the truth that only God is qualified to wipe away all of my sin, only He is fit to blot out my transgressions, and only He is immeasurably gracious?
What about you, my fellow sojourner?
Are you more inclined to turn to others first and foremost when in need?
Do you pray to the Lord of hosts as your first response or as your last resort?
May you and I both learn from David's example!
O, sweet Spirit of the living God, fall afresh on me. Direct my mind to grasp how prayer is the communication I am to have with You continually. Thank You for teaching me how to pray and help me to grow in its discipline as long as I live on this earth. And may my nature bow down to Your glorious nature! I pray all of this in the holy name of Jesus who was and is and is to come. Amen!
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